I think hell has officially frozen over. Pigs are flying. The sky is falling. The pope did shit in the woods! And I just wrote a check for a year long membership to yoga. My god, what did I do?
It doesn’t help that almost all my friends do yoga, or teach yoga, or own yoga studios. The last is what totally sucked me in. Damnit Lisa!
But I need it. My life is a mountain of messed up thoughts from the breakup and something has to change. Depression set in deeply and I needed something to get my head in the right place. And if you really look at it, yoga is much cheaper than therapy.
I do have to admit, it’s getting better. I’m starting to enjoy it (although I hate to admit it). It is helping me calm down and release a lot of built up shit that has been in my head for a lot of years. For instance, as I’m trying to write this post, an asshole behind the pizza counter is trying to talk to me. I’m getting better. Before, I’d kill him. Now I’m ignoring him. So yoga is keeping me out of jail, my #2 fear on Sean’s List of Fears (coming soon).
Back to depression.
It sucks balls! Big time! Anxiety takes over and you don’t know how to get rid of the messed up feelings swirling through your head. So you drink. Like that’s going to help! You’re already depressed so let’s take a depressant for fuckssake! NOT GOOD!
The problem is, I can’t scream it out of me. I’m already on edge and need to calm down. Screaming doesn’t help.
So I’ve gone the other direction and decided serenity is the best approach. Damn, I just had a George Costanza flashback.
Serenity now! Serenity NOW!
Seriously though, depression is not a laughing matter. I can’t tell you how many times those final thoughts have soared through my head because of depression. Yoga seems to be the only thing that is helping. And today I finally started to feel the release towards the closure I need. I know it sounds batshit, but hey, you have to do whatever you can to make things right.
So here’s my piece of advice (from an asshat): if you’re getting to that point, and you know what point I’m talking about, seek help. I’m not saying you need to tell anyone about it (although that does help). But you definitely need to figure out what works for you. If you need to run, walk, hide, ride, fart, sleep, shit, or scream, do it. And if you just need someone to hug, well, I’m probably your guy. I’m the asshat who loves the hugs. Just message me and I’ll be right there with a drink, and hug, and a sarcastic comment.
Be well…..I’m certainly trying.