Some of you might have noticed the Skribit box on the far right of the blog that asked for user request topics.  Well, the first one that came in was balls.

I’m not saying I’ll take up each suggestion, but if it looks fun, I’ll take it on.

So here goes.

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Ahhhh balls.  There are so many things that come to mind when we say the word balls.  If you have a dirty mind like me, you immediately think of testicles.  If you are my puppies, you think of the tennis balls you shred in the back yard.

Let’s look at the many uses for the word ball.  There’s a ball of wax, ball of fire, ball of lint, ball of confusion, lintball, football, shitball.

There are balls of mud, balls of twine, baseballs, beachballs, and balls of innovation.

Some douchebag even created the world’s largest ball of paint.  Although, I hear he’s close to dying of lead poisoning.

There’s a ball joint, a ball of gas, an eight ball, and a ball of fury.

But the greatest balls of all are snowballs.  We don’t get to see them much.  Frosty had a pair.  Unfortunately, they’ve long since melted away.

So, this Christmas season, go out and get you a pair of balls.  It doesn’t matter what size, just get some.  Trust me, they’ll come in handy when you’re inlaws are bitching at you for something stupid you did to the turkey!

UPDATE:  After I wrote this, I realized that the ultimate balls are Schweddy Balls. So, without further adieu…..