We’re a FAT nation.  MacDonald’s and Taco Bell run our lives.  The crap our kids eat in schools isn’t fit to serve a starving Ethiopian.

Every day I see what we have become in our Starbuck’s, WalMart‘s, and shopping malls.  We’re FAT!  It’s repulsive.

Just today I opened my New Yorker and saw a story poking fun at a fat military.

To keep the fat tradition going strong, my wife and I decided to go to Red Robin for lunch today.  Red Robin is a burger restaurant.  I won’t use the phrase burger joint because that would infer some kind of quirkiness associated with the place. 

No, this is mass marketing at its finest.  It’s cartoonish.  Actually, Bugs Bunny might puke if he walked in saw this place.

The tables are filled with cardboard figurines advertising the latest and greatest belt buster of the month.  The menu is a 15″ x 20″ laminated piece of color explosion artwork.  If Andy Warhol were alive today he would use their menu as a replacement for this Campbell’s Soup Can.

Our table was filled with so much crap attempting to sell you something even the sugar holder had a sign sticking out of it advertising a $1000 prize for filling out a customer survey.

As if this explosion of marketing wasn’t enough, there are televisions everywhere; because all the other crap to catch your eye just isn’t enough for our little brains.

The first TV you see is buried in the ground in the lobby.  This affords the patron a TV experience before he is seated, lest his mind go blank during the 30 seconds it takes for the hostess to figure out where she’s going to seat you.

You might say, “But Sean, you were there absorbing all of this mental jewelry.  You’re just as suckered in by their marketing as the rest of the minions.”

And I would say, “Can you repeat that?  I was watching the game on one of the 14,000 televisions in this place.”

Here are a couple of nutrition facts about Red Robin.  Remember this the next time you go there!

Onion Rings: Serving Size: 1 stack, Calories: 1837, Fat: 124g, Carbs: 160g, Protein: 18g

Guacamole Bacon Burger w/ Fries: Serving Size: 1 burger, Calories: 1541, Fat: 94g, Carbs: 105g, Protein: 68g

Sauteed Mushroom Swiss Burger w/ Fries: Serving Size: 1 burger, Calories: 971, Fat: 60g, Carbs: 52g, Protein: 60g  This is what Jen and I ordered; we split it, including splitting the fries.  Also, we put NO dressing on the burger.  My god, it’s STILL a shitload of fat grams and carbs.

We don’t eat at this place very often.  Actually, I’d say that we eat there about once a year.  If we ate there twice in a year it would probably kill us!

I have to say, Red Robin could possibly be the most calorie packed, fat ridden, heart attack causing restaurant in this country.  The sad part is that it is always packed.

And we wonder why we’re fat?!

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