Welcome to the Fiftieth National Spelling Bee, presented by Twinkies, a healthy alternative to vegetables. Kids, remember to ask for official Twinkies when you want a snack.

Let’s get right to the action with our first contestant, Xiang Xiao Dung from San Francisco, California.

Moderator: Spell the word PSITTACINE

Contestant: {sigh}

Moderator: PSITTACINE

Contestant: May I have the country of origin?

Moderator: We’re pretty sure it came out of England, but it could be Russian or Chinese.

Contestant: {tears starting to form} What does that mean?

Moderator: Psittacine. Please spell the word.

Contestant: {crying} Can you use it in a sentence?

Moderator: “The spelling bee contestant didn’t know how to spell the word Psittacine.”

Contestant: {beginning to wet himself} P….

Moderator: We can see that. Please spell the word.

Contestant: P is the first letter…

Moderator: Oh, look at that. Correct you are. Continue please.

Contestant: s

Moderator: Hey, you got another one!….. Sorry, I’ll be quiet.

Contestant: May I have the definition?

Moderator: Are you sure that will help? I mean, you’ve already wet yourself. And you’ve been crying since we began. Are you sure you want to continue?

Contestant: Ummm, I….I…..

Moderator: Very well. Psittacine: relating to a particular family of parrots. Wow, kind of vague, eh? I mean, that doesn’t give you much of a hint at all, does it? Might as well say, “relating to pile of excrement!”

Contestant: P s i t a….

Moderator: WRONG! Next contestant.

{Narrator: Oh, tough break for Xiang Xiao. The next contestant is Billy Jack Humble from Tuscaloosa, Alabama.}

Contestant 2: {Billy Jack approaches the microphone}

Moderator: Spell CAT.

Related articles by Zemanta

• 10 Words You Need to Stop Misspelling [Comic] (blogtipz.com)
• Google autocomplete now fixes spelling problems (malcolmcoles.co.uk)
• 22 Misspelled Political Signs (yesbutnobutyes.com)
• Les4 Proofing Features (slideshare.net)
• The Method of Blog Writing (franklinbishop.net)