I have a theory.  Want to hear it?  Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.

We all saw the announcement of the iPad last week.  This has sparked an entire generation of iSomethings to aid in our addiction to technology and reinforce our designation of the dominant species on Earth.

One of the biggest jokes last week were all the references to female hygiene products.  Here’s my theory: the government has already been using the iPad for quite some time to control a larger iDevice – the iTampon.

We have a problem with global warming on this planet, contrary to what Republicans, namely James Inhofe, have to say.  So, let’s create global cooling.  Let’s use the iPad to control the iTampon and just plug that damn hole with a massive cosmic cotton pony!

Send up the Space Shuttle with a big ass phallic shaped wad of cotton and use a couple of nuclear devices to blow it into the hole.  So what if we have a big ole wad of cotton sticking out of the north pole!  It would be like a nerd putting tape on his glasses because the frame cracked.  Or like the guy who cuts himself shaving and puts toilet paper on the cut, then forgets to take it off before he gets to work.

We’ve all got a little nerd in us.  Why not use it to our advantage?

And when aliens fly by, they’ll just think that we’re unique!

Alien child:  “Mom, can we fly by Earth this year for vacation and look at the giant iTampon?“

Alien Mom:  “Sure xXdrt65%%43.  We might even take a water canon this year and watch it expand.“

Alien child: “Oh boy!“

You laugh, but I’m thinking about using the same technique on Tim Tebow and Rush Limbaugh!

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