I spent most of the second half of my day at work today on the phone with PC Support.  I know that usually sounds like a bad thing but our PC Support guy is ok to talk to.  He fucked up my Lotus Notes and while digging through my computer to fix it we discovered I had over 45,000 temp files.  I’m pretty sure there’s no way it could be from surfing porn at work!

So the PC guy, let’s call him Thad, has this problem.  Her name is Courtney.  For the purposes of this blog entry, we’ll call her….Courtney.

First a little back story.  Courtney is a disaster.  Here are her highlights:

  • Compulsive liar
  • 50 lbs overweight
  • Bad skin
  • Bad hair
  • Bad clothes
  • Shirts are never long enough to cover her bulging belly.
  • Never shuts up
  • Thinks she’s God’s gift to frat boys.

Here’s how I picture this:

You know that game frat boys play where you try to find the ugliest, most disgusting girl and sleep with her?  {trust me, it’s a game.  If you’ve never been picked up for a one night stand and kicked out of the frat house the next morning, you’re not ugly enough to be one of these girls.  Although, you could be hot, but annoying, and kicked out.  We’ll have to discuss this in another blog post.  Back to my point.}

Courtney is the girl they all wish they would have picked up because she’s the most repulsive girl in the bar or at the party.  She’s the one all the other girls hate because she can’t stop talking and lying and showing her fat stomach.  So, Courtney is the bet winner.  She’s the unbelievably repulsive thing walking out of the frat house the next morning who thinks she just rocked his world.

Ok, so Courtney has a thing for Thad and it’s borderline harassment.  She calls him at home.  She waits for him during break times.  She brings him pot roast…..in the fucking crock pot.  She has no clue Thad is gay.  Did I mention that Courtney is really, really stupid?

I think I’ll let Courtney know that I talked to Thad this afternoon and he’s really starting to show some interest.  You know, just to egg it along a little.

I’ll let you guys know when he files the restraining order.

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