At some point in the next several years the world will experience The Rapture. All you Jesus loving, bible-thumping Christians will be rewarded with a lifetime of bliss in some otherworldly dimension while the rest of us will burn in the fiery pits of hell…or what is left of Earth.
There’s a problem though. What will you possibly do with all your Starbucks Cards once you’ve left Earth? What happens if you have $50 left on a coffee shop card and the rapture takes you away before you can use it all? Since so many of you feel the need to hold bible study, or even services in coffee shops, we believe this is a massive problem.
I have the solution. For only $10 more, we will take your Starbucks/coffee shop cards off your hands and spend the remainder…all in the name of God, of course.
At the moment, this service is only available in Oklahoma. However, we are rapidly expanding and will soon offer services in Kansas and Texas!
This ad brought to you by Atheists For A Religion-free Time (A-FART). Please donate to our cause by sending $1 to:
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