Left Of Sean

"Atheism isn't a religion. It's a personal relationship with reality."

Browsing Posts tagged Kansas

At some point in the next several years the world will experience The Rapture.  All you Jesus loving, bible-thumping Christians will be rewarded with a lifetime of bliss in some otherworldly dimension while the rest of us will burn in the fiery pits of hell…or what is left of Earth.

There’s a problem though.  What will you possibly do with all your Starbucks Cards once you’ve left Earth?  What happens if you have $50 left on a coffee shop card and the rapture takes you away before you can use it all?  Since so many of you feel the need to hold bible study, or even services in coffee shops, we believe this is a massive problem.

I have the solution.  For only $10 more, we will take your Starbucks/coffee shop cards off your hands and spend the remainder…all in the name of God, of course.

At the moment, this service is only available in Oklahoma.  However, we are rapidly expanding and will soon offer services in Kansas and Texas!

This ad brought to you by Atheists For A Religion-free Time (A-FART).  Please donate to our cause by sending $1 to:


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Right now I’m out of ideas.  I’m sitting here looking at the computer screen and I’ve gone completely blank.  I’ve been digging through my notes in hopes of generating some sort of spark of creativity but nothing is coming.  I’m like the dead lawnmower I had to take to the shop last year.  Let’s hope this fix doesn’t cost $95…for a $50 lawnmower!

Texts From Last Night

Image via Wikipedia

What I’m hoping is that in the next few days or weeks I’ll get a handle on the creativity and start writing again.  I keep a notebook full of junk and write down ideas and statements and doodles so that I can refer back to those things later for blog posts.  That notebook is going to come in handy right now because I’m going to list a few things I wrote down from TFLN (Texts From Last Night) to use later in stories or to just generate ideas.

  • She thought the capital of Kansas was Topanga!
  • It smells like wine and fried chicken in here.
  • It’s official.  I’m a squirter.  Wasn’t a one time thing.
  • I just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno.  Should I ask for an autograph?
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