Left Of Sean

Right now I’m out of ideas.  I’m sitting here looking at the computer screen and I’ve gone completely blank.  I’ve been digging through my notes in hopes of generating some sort of spark of creativity but nothing is coming.  I’m like the dead lawnmower I had to take to the shop last year.  Let’s hope this fix doesn’t cost $95…for a $50 lawnmower!

What I’m hoping is that in the next few days or weeks I’ll get a handle on the creativity and start writing again.  I keep a notebook full of junk and write down ideas and statements and doodles so that I can refer back to those things later for blog posts.  That notebook is going to come in handy right now because I’m going to list a few things I wrote down from TFLN (Texts From Last Night) to use later in stories or to just generate ideas.

• She thought the capital of Kansas was Topanga!
• It smells like wine and fried chicken in here.
• It’s official.  I’m a squirter.  Wasn’t a one time thing.
• I just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno.  Should I ask for an autograph?

Related articles by Zemanta

• Got Writer’s Block? Just Start Writing! (lauramalypenandink.wordpress.com)
• No, I Won’t Talk to You: Why Someday Syndrome Offers Email-Based Coaching (somedaysyndrome.com)
• Why Poetry? (highcallingblogs.com)
• Texts From Last Night by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator (popsyndicate.com)
• This Is Why I’m Cold! (joedawsons.com)

It has been a while since I posted some TFLN.  I thought this might be fun since I’m completely out of ideas at the moment.  {Hey, my mind isn’t insane ALL the time!  I have to take a break at some point.}

**************

(813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
(212): i hate you

**************

(571): I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed

**************

(801): so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said “wow, you’re even better than your dad!”

**************

(407): Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put “had a threesome” on her resume?

**************

(651): I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

**************

(210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means “im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass”
(570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
(210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

**************

(+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

**************

(778): I wish life had little blips of pornography

**************

(612): just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

**************

(503): do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?

Once again, here’s another installment from TextsFromLastNight.com.

(305): My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.

****

(608): can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?

****

(303): once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
(303): oh and he was serious.

****

(305): If Jon and Kate can get divorced…how hard can it be for me?

****

(503): I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

****

(808): i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed

****

(904): There was so much of it… it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It’s not bad for your hair is it?

****

(914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

This could be the best one ever…

These are from the “Worst Night” list on TFLN:

(443): So called my VP’s house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn’t hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka

************************

(808): no, he came in my armpit

************************

(415): And just as he was about to come, he screamed “Oh Christy!!”
(1-415): What’s wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
(415): He then said, “Oh shit, sorry Julie.”

***********************

(951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

************************

(678): I have said “that’s the wrong hole” for the last time.

************************

(425): my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.

************************

(408): booty call
(925): i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.

************************

(310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

************************

(416): Full bush! Can’t stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

************************

(216): let’s bang
(773): You’re in my phone as ‘Weird Bus Guy’ so I think my answer’s no.

************************

(513): My mom found a condom in my purse
(513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

************************

(843): I think im pregnant
(803): I think you have the wrong number

************************

(705): I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I’m single.

************************

(631): Can you return condoms to CVS?
(516): Only if you return your pride as well.

************************

(513): god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said “i don’t know who my daddy is”

************************

(210): I just want to hang out with her.
(916): You’re a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can’t have sex with my mom? I hate you.

Let’s start Friday off with some texting fun…

(918): you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
(1-918): Woah.
(918): that’s not how you spell hell yes.

******************

(323): i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
(918): Special does not even begin to describe that text.

******************

(918): Can’t talk. I’m at the Tulsa Sheriff’s office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I’m the only one that voted for Obama.
(515): I bet you’re the only one who could read the ballott.

******************

(918): I’m in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.